A Little Bit Of Garfield In Us All
by Artimus Knyght
Summary: Just a little bit of funny. Rated K  for cartoon violence  A kick up the arse or something like that . Rated on the safe side, just to be sure.


**WARNING! WARNING! CAUTION! DIRECT YOUR ATTENTION HERE! **Good. Now that I've got your attention I've got a challenge for you. Not a story challenge, but a question challenge. At the beginning of chapter two of my story Death's Reaper you will find a question. Nobody's answered yet, but that might be because nobody's seen it. Read it. The first person with the correct answer will win one hundred points for the house of their choice. If you give me you give me your name, I will write you into one of my stories.

So my dad has this book of Garfield comic strips called Garfield Special Delivery, and I had the idea to put some of the Harry Potter characters in some of the situations. Some are better than others.

I do not own Harry Potter or Garfield.

**A Little Bit Of Garfield In Us All**

Harry was in a deserted hallway near the Great Hall. He was leaning against a wall next to a locked broom cupboard. He heard footsteps and looked up to see Ron walking towards him.

"Hello there, Ron." Ron nodded his head and carried on walking. Seconds later Hermione hurried up to him.

"Harry! Where's Ron? You didn't stuff him in that broom cupboard did you?" she exclaimed. Harry pointed down the hall to where Ron had stopped and was trying to get a stain off his shirt from his most recent pig fest, what the rest of Hogwarts called meal times of any variety. "Thank heavens," she murmured, but could you blame her for being suspicious, Harry did look like he was up to something.

Hermione walked off to help Ron with his stain and drag him off to finish homework.

"What kind of a person does Hermione think I am?" Harry asked himself. There was a muffled yell from inside the broom cupboard.

"Oh, shut up Malfoy!"

* * *

><p>Ron was eating food at the Gryffindor table when Malfoy came over to make trouble.<p>

"Hello Weasel." Ron hadn't heard him coming and jumped. He accidentally hit his full plate with his arm and sent his food all down his front. He stood up and grabbed Malfoy by the scruff of his neck.

"I really envy you Malfoy." Malfoy's smirk lasted about two seconds until he noticed Ron pulling back his arm, a fist made ready. As Ron punched Malfoy he had a bout of accidental magic and sent him up into the rafters of the Great Hall.

"Imagine …" He continued, "The first wizard on the moon."

* * *

><p>Ron was dreaming about food, as usual. He was lying on a bed of pancakes with a pancake on top of him.<p>

"Here I am in the land of large breakfasts," he said to himself. He picked up the large pancake that covered him and began to eat it.

"This giant pancake sure tastes good," he mumbled between mouthfuls. He licked his hand and reached for a large fried egg when he started to wake up.

"What a nice dream," he murmured as he stirred. Suddenly he felt cold. He looked down and realised why.

"Where's my blanket?" he wondered.

* * *

><p>Ron was walking in a field near the burrow. His stomach growled. He was hungry.<p>

"RON! LUNCH TIME!" He heard Ginny call. Ron started to run back to the house. "RON! WHERE ARE YOU?" She called for him again.

Ron jumped the gate, nearly breaking the old thing and raced down the path. He skidded to a halt right outside the kitchen door before calmly walking in. Ginny was already in there, as was Mrs Weasley.

"It is time for you to eat, your majesty," Ginny said, her words dripping with sarcasm. Ron sat down and said "If I must," before digging in with vigour.

* * *

><p>Ron stood at the castle doors looking out at the rain. 'What a dismal day' he thought. 'I hate the rain.' He saw two spiders crawling along the floor towards him. 'I hate spiders' he thought. That's when it hit him. "SPIDERS?"<p>

Ron ran outside to get away from them. As he stood outside he thought 'I hate spiders more than I hate rain.'

* * *

><p>Wormtail was in rat form hiding from his master. The Dark Lord was angry and Wormtail feared his Lord on a good day.<p>

'Phobia's are funny things' he thought. 'I am absolutely fearless except where the Dark Lord is concerned' he lied to himself.

Nagini came up behind him. 'Hello Nagini' he squeaked. 'How are you?' he patted her nose with his paw. 'Isn't that strange?' he thought as he kept patting, 'The Dark Lord scares me, but his snake doesn't scare me.'

Five minutes later a muffled squeak came from a bump in Nagini.

'Now his snake scares me!' he thought.

* * *

><p>Ron was asleep in History of Magic, just like everyone except Hermione, and was once again dreaming of food. He was dreaming of a burger. He was just about to reach said burger when Malfoy came out of nowhere and grabbed it. Malfoy ate his burger and then smiled at him.<p>

Just then the bell rang, signalling the end of the lesson, and he awoke. He followed Malfoy out of the classroom and went right up behind him. Ron pulled back his leg and kicked Malfoy up the arse.

"STAY OUT OF MY DREAMS!" He shouted before stalking off.

* * *

><p>Luna Lovegood was considered strange by so many, but not the creatures of the Forbidden Forest. That's the reason she spent so much time amongst them.<p>

Like now, Luna frolicked through the forest and the flowers, greeting the various animals, both magical and non-magical. She laughed with such a pure joy that few in the castle would ever hear.

"I love you bunny rabbit," she said when she saw one hop by.

"I love you, too, unicorn," she said as one walked up to her. She patted the unicorn's nose and moved on.

"I LOVE YOU ALL," she called out to all the animals.

Dumbledore walked into the Great Hall that evening for dinner and stopped in the doorway.

"What the …?" he exclaimed. The Ravenclaw table was full of both magical and non-magical creatures. The Ravenclaws were all huddled at different tables, too scared to go near their own. In fact, there was only one person at the table, despite it being full. She had blonde hair, silver blue eyes and had looked up at his exclamation.

"I brought some friends back for dinner," she said, as if it explained everything, before going back to her food.

* * *

><p>Ron sat down at the Gryffindor table for dinner and pulled a dish full of lasagne towards him.<p>

"Hello," he said to it. People looked at him a little strangely, but mostly people were used to his oddities when it came to food.

"Haven't we met before?" He asked. "Perhaps a pasta place in Palermo?" He lowered his head to the dish as if to listen.

"What's that? Oh no, my dear. Even though you are just a lasagne, I admire you for your mind." People were starting to move away from him.

"You know I can't resist you when you wear garlic sauce on your noodles." It was clear that he hadn't eaten in a couple of hours.

"This could be the start of a long and meaningful relationship." People stared at him, but before they could say anything he started shovelling the lasagne into his mouth. When it was all gone he sat back and looked around. He saw everyone staring at him and shrugged.

"I despise long engagements."

* * *

><p>Draco was walking through the grounds of Hogwarts alone for once. He saw a blanket over by the lake and headed towards it. As he got closer he saw he saw that there was a plate of food on it. His stomach rumbled. Well, he was hungry.<p>

He looked around and saw no one around. He reached for the plate and suddenly reeled back as he had a face full of Ron Weasley. And he was mad.

"Touch my food and you're one dead snake!"

* * *

><p>Dumbledore was sat on a bench in muggle London in a park. McGonagall came along in cat form and leapt up onto the bench beside him. They sat there for a while in silence and then a woman walked by.<p>

Dumbledore decided to try something that the young boys at Hogwarts did to girls, not that he understood what it meant, and whistled. Nothing happened, but he swore he heard a snigger from the cat beside him.

A few minutes later another woman passed by them, this one accompanied by a rather large man, and McGonagall got a devilish thought. She whistled.

The man turned around and grabbed Dumbledore by the collar.

"Did you whistle at my girl?" He demanded, his girl glaring at Dumbledore from behind him. Dumbledore was suddenly scared. "No sir, I didn't," he whimpered. The man turned around and went to walk off with his girl. Dumbledore sighed in relief.

And then McGonagall roared. She actually roared. The man spun around and wound up for a right hook.

"It was the cat! It was the cat!" Dumbledore yelled, hopeless though it was. After a brief beating the couple walked off. Dumbledore dragged himself back onto the bench and turned to the cat.

"Well, I hope you're happy," he said. Just then another woman with an even meaner looking man walked by.

And McGonagall whistled.

* * *

><p>Luna was sitting under a tree looking out over the Black Lake while enjoying the beautiful spring morning. Ginny came up and sat down next to her.<p>

"Good morning Ginny," her light voice broke the silence, "I'm so happy you can share this glorious morning with me." Ginny turned to look at her, but said nothing.

"Michelangelo would give up painting in a minute if he saw the canvas Mother Nature has rendered just for us today." A bird landed next to Luna and started to chirp.

"Just listen to the symphony of sound from nature's flute section." She picked some flowers and held them up for Ginny to smell.

"And the perfect sights and sounds are perfumed with these lovely flowers. What do you think Ginny?" Ginny sat there and stared at her.

"You really don't care, do you?" Luna said

"Bingo." Ginny replied.

* * *

><p>Ron was hungry, as usual, and he decided to head down to the kitchens. He was greeted by a very enthusiastic Dobby.<p>

"Good day, Master Harry's Weasel Sir," Dobby said as he bounced.

"I'm hungry," Ron announced. Dobby brought him an egg.

"How would you like your egg prepared?" Ron took the egg.

"I would like it hatched," he said, "Raise it to young chickenhood on a diet of cracked corn, barley and sorghum molasses." Ron cradled the egg in both hands.

"Then barbecue the dude." He picked up the egg in one hand.

"I should think a steak sauce and honey glaze would be nice." He accidentally dropped the egg and it broke on the floor. Dobby looked down at the egg before looking up at Ron.

"Scrambled?" He asked.

"Scrambled," Ron answered.

* * *

><p>Draco was in Hogsmeade at night. He was under a lamp post, leaning against it.<p>

"A dimly lit street corner at midnight. This puts me in the mood for some snappy banter." He crossed his arms and waited. After a while a girl walked up to him.

"Hey good lookin'. What's happenin'?" She looked at him with disdain.

"Who are you?" She said. He smiled.

"Names aren't important. Some call me Soldier of Fortune, some call me a Renaissance man. You can call me 'Major'."

The girl suddenly brightened up. "I love men in uniform," she said.

"What say we go to the Three Broomsticks for a Butter Beer?" He held out his arm.

"I'm with you Big Boy," she purred. Before she could take his arm he went to nudge her chin with his fist.

"Here's lookin' at you sweetheart." He put to much force into his nudge and smacked her to the ground.

"Rats," he said, "I think I chucked her chin a little hard."

* * *

><p>Hermione noticed how few people had cats. She decided to do something to get more people to get cats so that Crookshanks wouldn't be so lonely. She started with Gryffindor and gathered everyone together in the common room.<p>

"Can we talk?" She asked. Everyone nodded so she carried on. "I would like to speak to you about how wonderful cats are." She ignored a small smash behind her. Crookshanks had just knocked a vase off the mantle piece.

"Unlike dogs, they always land on their feet." A couple of people sniggered as Crookshanks fell off the mantle piece and landed on his face behind Hermione.

"They are far calmer than dogs," she continued as Crookshanks hissed and scratched at the fireplace in anger.

"Every movement is a deliberate statement of grace and beauty." Behind her Crookshanks was trying to get up onto the arm of a chair by the fireplace, scratching and clawing to try and pull himself up.

"And when it comes to coordination, they are far superior to dogs." With a Whap! Crookshanks fell to the floor. Hermione spun around shocked when she heard him bark.

* * *

><p>Ron walked into the dormitory and found a pan of lasagne on his bed.<p>

"This is my lucky day," he murmured. He quickly gobbled it all down. "Wha…?" He was shocked when, with a Poof! the lasagne was back.

"It grew back!" He cheered, "I've discovered the bottomless Pan of Lasagne!" Just then he woke up and looked around. He realised the truth and got angry.

Harry woke up to Ron throwing a hissy fit on his bed and ranting.

"I knew it! I knew it! I knew it was too good to be true!"

* * *

><p>Well there you are. Hope you enjoy it. Please Review. I'm sorry that I've not updated in forever, I'm truly sorry. I have no excuse, but I will say that I'm very stressed due to things I won't bore you with, And when I'm not stressed, I procrastinate, a lot. Again, I'm very sorry.<p> 


End file.
